Paris Hilton Readies World Music Takeover

We all know that most music is simply a placeholder. The place it is holding is for the one true Queen of Music. That Goddess of Smash Hits. The Siren of Song.

I am talking of course about: PARIS MOTHA FUCKING HILTON.

We have all been having to deal with lessers like Beyonce and Lady GaGa ever since Queen Paris' eponymous debut came out in 2006, garnering a slew of smash singles and universal critical acclaim. I think Stars Are Blind won a Nobel Peace Prize...I would have to look that up and that is a little too much journalistic work for me!

Ever since then she has been teasing us about returning to the top of the charts, first citing Gay Jesus herself, Kylie Minogue, as the main inspiration for the next album. Recently she changed her tune and announced that she would be conquering the dance genre instead, and has hooked up with mega-DJ Chuckie to produce her upcoming first single, which is her deeply personal and autobiographical "Going Out To The VIP", which surely will remind all of you Adele lovers what songwriting is REALLY all about. I for one, am not at all prepared for the upcoming Paris takeover!!