Single Review: Rihanna ft. Britney Spears "S&M Remix"

Last week Princess Rihanna hinted on twitter that a remix to "S&M" would be releasing and rumors had penned a certain femme fatale would be the featured artist. Yesterday, it was confirmed that Britney Spears would indeed be on the "rihmix" through a series of tweet exchanges between Ri and Britney's people. This generated excitement among Britney stans while some Rihanna stans felt pressed that they were given a hasbeen. Early this morning the song premiered on New York's z100 radio station.

This is the first time Ms. Spears has been a featured artist. Ever. Most likely because Xtina/Beyonce were always available. As "monumental" as this is, the result is less than favorable. "S&M" is one of the LOUDest tracks Rihanna has recorded but she's able to handle the heavy synths and percussion due her distinctive tonality. Unfortunately, Britney doesn't manage to do so well. She sounds as nasally as ever and her over-processed, auto-tuned voice doesn't mesh well with Rihanna's natural studio voice.
In the new extended 2nd verse, Brit snorts:

Just one night full of sin, feel the pain on your skin... 

Tap out or scream mercy, it's your time to hurt me...yeah 

If I'm bad, tie me down...shut me up, gag and bound...me

Cuz the pain is my pleasure, nothing comes better

o_O Who thought this sh*t was cute?! Those lyrics take the song to another level so if British radio had problems with the original, it'll be interesting to see how they like the remix. Some of Britney's moans and ad-libs give the song a more sensual feeling and her "oh-oh-oh-oh-oh"s sound decent, but overall it's nothing too special.

When I first heard the idea of Britney I knew she didn't have the vocal capacity for it, but still was excited to see the outcome. Katy Perry and her BFF-status seemed like a more appropriate choice for the song. Listen to "E.T." or "Peacock" and it's clear that Katy has enough attitude in her voice to deliver a better performance--and one that would have complemented Rihanna's. Not sure what the real reasoning behind this remix was--promotion to help Flop Fatale or an extra push to get "S&M" to #1 on the Hot 100 (it currently sits at #2)? If it's the latter, then drafting Perry who's had, count it, 4 #1's from her Teenage Dream album definitely would have made the most sense. If you're a fan of both artists, then you've already downloaded the song before reading this review--but I'll be sticking to the original.
-C

2/5 Wigs Snatched