Thursday, June 16, 2011

Girls Aloud Are Girls Who Shouldn't Be Allowed To Go Solo

British group Girls Aloud, one of the most overrated girl groups since Danity Kane (yes I am aware they were around before but I wanted to say something bitchy about DK), split up on hiatus a few years ago so that each member could pursue solo efforts. While I am not too into many of their songs, they were truly a force to be reckoned with in the UK, and remain the girl group to beat in the 21st century outside of ho patrol Pussycat Dolls. So what have they been up to? Let's do a quick recap:

Cheryl Cole

The Darling of the UK landed herself a spot on UK Xfactor and then went on to put out 2 successful albums with mediocre music and a few high charting singles, also mediocre. While Cheryl is gorgeous, a sweetheart, and not a half-bad dancer, she clearly does not have the talents that some of her group members had. Sort of the Posh Spice of GA. More recently she was supposed to come to the US XFactor and even began auditions, and all kinds of shady things went down, and now she is no longer on there, being replaced by the prettier and more talented Nicole Scherzinger, and is no longer involved in the UK version. What next, Cheryl?

Nadine Coyle

Often thought of as the VOICE of Girls Aloud, Nadine's solo album came out last fall, and was dead on arrival. Many blamed it on her having talent but not as much star power as Cheryl. Some said the production and songs were dated. I bet it was a little of both. Just this week it was announced that Nadine is going to have another go of it at the American market with a couple songs by American DJs in an attempt to find success where she couldn't in the UK. God bless her because she really is a talented girl.

Nicola Roberts

Whereas Cheryl went for the pop superstar and Nadine is treading underrated talent, Nicola just recently premiered her first single Dance To The Beat of My Drum and seems to be playing the indie pop card. Using a more inspired sample of Pon De Floor than Beyonce's latest flop, the single has been VERY well received by critics, although not exactly setting the UK charts on fire. Cheryl may have the success, but Nicola just might end up with the most credibility.

Kimberley Walsh

I picked a bigger picture for her because she has NOTHING going on.

Sarah Harding

See Kimberley Walsh. This ho got nothing.

Moral of the story is that even with certain successes from the top members of Girls Aloud, these gals are far less entertaining separate. Luckily for us, there is a confirmation that they will be reforming for some type of reunion. I may not be jumping up and down, but at least then it is just one group putting out subpar pop music rather than 5 (or rather, 3) entities putting out even worse music. Man...why did I even write this?

No comments:

Post a Comment